Editorial Report B

Here is another comparison between my rough cut and re-edited version. Again, I focused a lot on the content for the rough cut, in order to make sure I had good material to work with. I focused more on form for the re-edited version, as I tried to familiarize myself with the QRG genre.


Rough cut:

Power Point Presentations

This is the genre Dr. Nighorn and Dr. Tolbert claim to enjoy the most. There is a lot more room for adding personal touches and being more entertaining. In fact, power point presentations should aim to be very entertaining, in comparison to the scientific journal.

At this point, your audience should be aware of the kind of research and content you can produce, probably from reading your research focused article in a scientific journal. Now is the time to sell yourself.

It is common for these power points to have minimal text on the slides, making more room for more attractive content like pictures, and using the slides as talking points. Using this technique is the effective because it allows credibility and personality to be presented simultaneously. When a researcher can explain his or her work through spoken word, it is a sign for invertors, and peers, that the researcher thoroughly understands what is going on. It shows a level of professionalism and readiness that will help close the deal and receive a grant or donation.

This will also allow personal comments to be added in, showing a level of sociability and charisma. Assuming the quality of content is adequate, investors also need to see the “x factor” or quality that sets you apart from other researchers. 


Re-edited version:

Power Point Presentations

This is the genre Dr. Nighorn and Dr. Tolbert claim to enjoy the most. There is a lot more room for adding entertainment and personal touches. In fact, power point presentations should aim to be very entertaining, in comparison to the scientific journal.

At this point, your audience should be aware of the kind of research and content you can produce, probably from reading your research focused article in a scientific journal. Now is the time to sell yourself.

While discussing the needs of young neuroscientists looking to advance his or her career, Dr. Leslie Tolbert said,  

“If you can’t talk about it, you might as well not have done it.”

Dr. Tolbert was referring to the power point presentations and seminars used to address a focused audience. To have a full impact with research, one has to be able to present it in person, closing the gap between paper presentations and funding.

Here is a picture of Dr. Lynne Oland, another professor at The University of Arizona, talking to the local news. While the future of a neuroscientist’s career may not infringe on these specific outlets, they can help tremendously by generating interest of the general public and potential investors.

The major content changes I made was to add in the picture (of Dr. Oland talking to the news) and its caption. I did not think I needed it before but I think it is a nice aside. It stays on topic but is different enough to keep the reader interested. I also added in Dr. Tolbert's quotation. This helps a lot with my credibility, as I source an experienced neuroscientist. 

Again for this section, I did a lot of work on form. I made the sub headers blue and underlined. I also made Dr. Tolbert's quotation blue to match the sub headers. Another major change was the addition of the picture. This helps tremendously to give a clear image of what is going on. Overall, I think the changes help by organizing the text and making it easier to read, some major genre conventions for a QRG.