Types of Genres
My interviews are scheduled in the first week of March so I am not able to report on my interviews just yet. I did find, however, some information in the general research I did. The most significant genres I found were almost lab report like publications found on an organizations website and the lengthy reports in scholarly journals.
Differences
Most of the aspects are the same in both genres. They share the same purpose, context, and message. I would say the most prevalent reason this occurs is the fact that these authors are trying to inform the reader in some way. This almost forces the author to default into a more "essay" like approach that is very professional and specific. They do differ in convention and audience. While an article in a journal could appeal more to the average reader, a publication on an organizations website might be a little more bare boned, providing just the necessary information while still being detailed.
Challenging Aspects
The most challenging part in writing in these genres is knowing enough about the subject to write about it. Almost all of it is reporting on research or facts about a topic. The key to making these genres work is presenting a lot of information in an effective way. This can be tricky considering the author knows a substantial amount of the topic and the reader presumably knows nothing.
Rewarding Aspects
The most rewarding part of these publications is sharing brand new information with the public. I've always thought it would be nice to contribute useful, interesting information to the scientific community.
Mass Media
The only way to find these articles in mass media is in scholarly journals. The content is simply too complicated to really take form in other media outlets.
Sunday, February 28, 2016
From Academia to Social Media
The author I looked up is James Bisley. Like other authors I tried to research, the only form of social media he has is Facebook.
I was actually surprised when I looked up James. Compared to other authors I saw, his Facebook account did not focus a lot on his work. There were picture of him doing everyday things like going out to eat or hanging out with friends. There seemed to be not a lot of focus on his career with the journal.
There is almost no connect between the persona displayed on social media and the persona of the journal. Given, the article he wrote was in my "reporting" genre. I would not expect a lot of his personal life to come out in this type of writing. There would not be a place for it.
 |
| Facebook Like Button. Feb. 2016. Public Domain |
Academic Discourse and Genre
Various Genres
As I read through the journal, there seemed to be three different genres in the journal. They varied in length, content, and tone.
Significant Differences
Once genre that came up, I'll call it reporting, was very lengthy and heavy in content. This is where authors would report things such as research or new findings. There were long paragraphs, including a lot of context and backstory. Another similar genre was like a quick report. Here, there were small, sometimes two to three, paragraphs about the brain that are meant to provide interesting facts. This content was written with a more appealing voice, hoping to entertain the reader. The last genre was like a biography, where different scientist would talk about their work and personal life. Obviously, the tone of these pieces were more personal. It served as a nice break between the heavy, research focused text.
Labeling the Genres
My reporting genre is meant to report on some neuroscience related topic. This ranged from theoretical topics to hard research. It is very lengthy and heavily detailed. Basically providing all the information to fully understand the topic.
The quick report was mainly used to give the audience an interesting fact about the brain. This is the kind of information someone could quote but not be able to explain. I would compare it to articles in pop culture magazines that give short little stories about celebrities that don't really evoke any emotion, but rather aim to just entertain.
The biography genre is pretty straight forward. This is used mainly to provide information about the authors. The audience would benefit a lot from these kinds of articles because it would help understand the "report" genre better. Knowing more about the author helps the reader with the context of any given publication.
| Vilayanur Ramachandran. February 26, 2016. Public Domain |
My Discipline
Students in Neuroscience
Students in the neuroscience department are mainly learning the basic functions of the brain. Since neuroscience is stilly very much being explored, there is only a certain amount of information that can be learned. There is a very basic (relatively speaking) foundation in neuroscience that must be learned in order to explore the brain further.
Careers
There are many different fields in which a neuroscientist can enter. While all jobs involve a similar goal, to diagnose or explain the brain's behavior, there are a lot of deferent areas in which someone can enter. For example, I could choose between working with athletes or children. Given how complicated the brain is, it is better to specialize in a specific area.
Interest
What drew me into neuroscience was wanting to study psychedelic drugs. After researching how beneficial they could be in helping people with conditions like PTSD, addiction, and depression, I was immediately intrigued and decided I wanted to study neuroscience to explore these possibilities.
Leaders in the Field
One of the most influential leaders for me is MAPS (Multidisciplinary Association of Psychedelic Studies). They are a nonprofit that aims to conduct research on psychedelics. I admire and respect this organization because of how much they want to help people. That is the whole point in their research. I also respect their perseverance in trying to work with our current laws and changing the worlds opinion about psychedelics.
Dr. Carl Hart is another great role model for me. He has dedicated his whole life studying addiction. Like MAPS, he is hoping to educate people and tell the truth about drugs. I respect Dr. Hart in his efforts to educate the public past his research. He will go on news channels, podcasts, and write books about what he finds, in hopes of reaching a larger amount of people. I think the world would be better if more people had this attitude of "education" instead of incarceration.
Dr. Oland is another big influence on me. She is the reason I switched my major from psychology to neuroscience. She is a professor at the U of A and I had the pleasure of taking her elective class last semester. I loved how enthusiastic she was about the brain and it made learning the material very fun. If I can manage to follow through with this career, I would thank her for getting me excited to learn about the subject.
Scholarly Journals
The most popular journal is Nature Review Neuroscience . The most specific place I could find for where the journal is published is the United Kingdom. The journal reaches readers worldwide though.
The second most viewed neuroscience journal is the Annual Review of Neuroscience. This journal started in the 70's with J. Murray Luck. He founded the journal while teaching at Stanford University.
The third most viewed journal is Nature Neuroscience. This journal is actually published by the same company that publishes Nature Review Neuroscience, but this journal claims to be independent from its sibling journal.
Students in the neuroscience department are mainly learning the basic functions of the brain. Since neuroscience is stilly very much being explored, there is only a certain amount of information that can be learned. There is a very basic (relatively speaking) foundation in neuroscience that must be learned in order to explore the brain further.
Careers
There are many different fields in which a neuroscientist can enter. While all jobs involve a similar goal, to diagnose or explain the brain's behavior, there are a lot of deferent areas in which someone can enter. For example, I could choose between working with athletes or children. Given how complicated the brain is, it is better to specialize in a specific area.
Interest
What drew me into neuroscience was wanting to study psychedelic drugs. After researching how beneficial they could be in helping people with conditions like PTSD, addiction, and depression, I was immediately intrigued and decided I wanted to study neuroscience to explore these possibilities.
Leaders in the Field
One of the most influential leaders for me is MAPS (Multidisciplinary Association of Psychedelic Studies). They are a nonprofit that aims to conduct research on psychedelics. I admire and respect this organization because of how much they want to help people. That is the whole point in their research. I also respect their perseverance in trying to work with our current laws and changing the worlds opinion about psychedelics.
Dr. Carl Hart is another great role model for me. He has dedicated his whole life studying addiction. Like MAPS, he is hoping to educate people and tell the truth about drugs. I respect Dr. Hart in his efforts to educate the public past his research. He will go on news channels, podcasts, and write books about what he finds, in hopes of reaching a larger amount of people. I think the world would be better if more people had this attitude of "education" instead of incarceration.
Dr. Oland is another big influence on me. She is the reason I switched my major from psychology to neuroscience. She is a professor at the U of A and I had the pleasure of taking her elective class last semester. I loved how enthusiastic she was about the brain and it made learning the material very fun. If I can manage to follow through with this career, I would thank her for getting me excited to learn about the subject.
Scholarly Journals
The most popular journal is Nature Review Neuroscience . The most specific place I could find for where the journal is published is the United Kingdom. The journal reaches readers worldwide though.
The second most viewed neuroscience journal is the Annual Review of Neuroscience. This journal started in the 70's with J. Murray Luck. He founded the journal while teaching at Stanford University.
The third most viewed journal is Nature Neuroscience. This journal is actually published by the same company that publishes Nature Review Neuroscience, but this journal claims to be independent from its sibling journal.
My Interviewees on Social Media
For both my interviewees, Alan Nighorn and Leslie Tolbert, the only form of social media I could find them on was Facebook. Leslie Tolbert could have been on instagram but her account was private (if it was her).
For both accounts, the information shown on Facebook only included posts related to their career. Most of the posts involved some kind of event of milestone. These include finishing up research, working on research, or attending some sort of meeting related to their fields.
Since Facebook did not provide too much information into the interviewees personal lives, it is hard to compare their posts to their professional publications. I did see some of their personality as they pose, smiling with peers. Although it does not give any crucial information, their posts show that they are willing to show a lighter and more fun side of them in comparison to their publications.
For both accounts, the information shown on Facebook only included posts related to their career. Most of the posts involved some kind of event of milestone. These include finishing up research, working on research, or attending some sort of meeting related to their fields.
Since Facebook did not provide too much information into the interviewees personal lives, it is hard to compare their posts to their professional publications. I did see some of their personality as they pose, smiling with peers. Although it does not give any crucial information, their posts show that they are willing to show a lighter and more fun side of them in comparison to their publications.
 |
| Kropekk_pl. August, 19 2014. Public Domain |
Saturday, February 27, 2016
My Interviewees as Professional Writers
Types of professional publications:
Both Dr. Nighorn and Dr. Tolbert has published a very large amount of research. Many of these publications are peer reviewed essays and articles in scientific journals.
Publications:
Here is an article published in 1981 and an article published in 2012 by Leslie Tolbert.
Both of these articles are very similar. They are short and concise, getting straight to the point. It is somewhat of a mixture of an essay and a QRG. While the tone and formatting remain very professional, the length is shortened to present the most important information.
Here is an article published in 2003 and an article published in 2014 by Alan Nighorn.
The publications are similar to Dr. Tolberts. They are short articles that explain the most important conclusions of the research. They are peer reviewed and are shared with other researchers. The professional tone remains constant.
Context
The years in which these articles were published are 1981, 2003, 2012, and 2014. While the 1981 outlier may seem like a different form of publication, it appears to have been reformatted to fit in a website. There really is not much going on in the subjects being researched that affect the publications because all of the articles are cutting edge. Not much research has been done on the subject before the publications. Generally though, scientific research has grown a lot since 1981 and there may have been more importance on the research done past the year 2000.
Message
The overall messages of the articles are basically all the same. They aim to conclude their extensive research in order to present a final statement. This statement usually involves some kind of mechanism in the brain. Due to the inherent complexity of the brain, this is how most of the research is conducted.
Purpose
Again, the main purpose of this type of research is to state a specific claim about how the brain works. This could vary in the function of the brain, but the bottom line is always proving how that function occurs.
Both Dr. Nighorn and Dr. Tolbert has published a very large amount of research. Many of these publications are peer reviewed essays and articles in scientific journals.
Publications:
Here is an article published in 1981 and an article published in 2012 by Leslie Tolbert.
Both of these articles are very similar. They are short and concise, getting straight to the point. It is somewhat of a mixture of an essay and a QRG. While the tone and formatting remain very professional, the length is shortened to present the most important information.
Here is an article published in 2003 and an article published in 2014 by Alan Nighorn.
The publications are similar to Dr. Tolberts. They are short articles that explain the most important conclusions of the research. They are peer reviewed and are shared with other researchers. The professional tone remains constant.
Context
The years in which these articles were published are 1981, 2003, 2012, and 2014. While the 1981 outlier may seem like a different form of publication, it appears to have been reformatted to fit in a website. There really is not much going on in the subjects being researched that affect the publications because all of the articles are cutting edge. Not much research has been done on the subject before the publications. Generally though, scientific research has grown a lot since 1981 and there may have been more importance on the research done past the year 2000.
Message
The overall messages of the articles are basically all the same. They aim to conclude their extensive research in order to present a final statement. This statement usually involves some kind of mechanism in the brain. Due to the inherent complexity of the brain, this is how most of the research is conducted.
Purpose
Again, the main purpose of this type of research is to state a specific claim about how the brain works. This could vary in the function of the brain, but the bottom line is always proving how that function occurs.
 |
| Primary scientific research being carried out by the microscopy laboratory of the Idaho National Library. 2011. Public Domain |
My Interview Subjects
Alan Nighorn is my first interviewee.
Dr. Nighorn is an associative professor at the University of Arizona in the neurobiology department. He has been involved in research since he graduated from Baylor in 1993 with a PhD.
Dr. Tolbert is a Regents professor and Vice President of research, Graduate studies, and Economic development at the University of Arizona. She received her A.B. in applied mathematics and later her PhD in anatomy from Harvard in 1973 and 1978 respectively.
 |
| Alan Nighorn |
We are scheduled to have our interview on 3/1 at 11:30 in his office. This was the earliest he could meet with me.
Leslie Tolbert is my second interviewee.
 |
| Leslie Tolbert |
She has been Regents professor and Vice President for over a decade now. Our interview is scheduled for 3/3 at 11:30 in her office.
Here is a list of questions I'd like to ask both interviewees, with some variation depending on how they respond.
1. Overall, what is the most common genre you've had to use/ encounter throughout your career?
2. Why do you think this is the most prevalent genre?
3. Have the genres in your area of study changed over the course of your career?
4. How has the internet affected the publication and presentation of your work?
5. What genres are expected to be known and used for someone just starting in neuroscience?
6. Have the genres you've used change over time?
7. What has been the most effective genre you've used or seen?
8. Do you have any predictions about how the genres used in your field will change over time?
Sunday, February 21, 2016
Brutality Honest Self-Assesment
I am even surprised as I type this but I am actually pretty happy with my submission. I had been so used to throwing together essays at the last minute but this time I was forced to work on it earlier. This led to me actually being able to organize my thoughts and add great additions to the paper. That being said, there are always areas to improve. I worry that it is not interesting enough. I tried to add better verbs and adjectives, but I felt somewhat restricted reporting a controversy and trying to remain neutral.
The major weakness of my project is that it might be too boring. I feel like there was a limit to how much I could add my own voice and creative language given the genre and topic. There was not a lot of room to make the essay a "fun read" and I fear I might lose the readers interest.
I think a major strength of my essay is how organized it is. I spent a lot of time moving things around, changing the structure of sentences, and adding and changing words. I really wanted it to flow nicely since I felt like I was lacking in the interesting section. I also felt like I did a good job with the quotations used, utilizing their context.
I honestly feel like I did a good job with time management with this project. This could be because I was so used to procrastinating before. It felt good to feel the progress come continually instead of being forced at the end. I felt like I could explore a lot more options with the piece.
The major weakness of my project is that it might be too boring. I feel like there was a limit to how much I could add my own voice and creative language given the genre and topic. There was not a lot of room to make the essay a "fun read" and I fear I might lose the readers interest.
I think a major strength of my essay is how organized it is. I spent a lot of time moving things around, changing the structure of sentences, and adding and changing words. I really wanted it to flow nicely since I felt like I was lacking in the interesting section. I also felt like I did a good job with the quotations used, utilizing their context.
I honestly feel like I did a good job with time management with this project. This could be because I was so used to procrastinating before. It felt good to feel the progress come continually instead of being forced at the end. I felt like I could explore a lot more options with the piece.
| Vino TV. "When You Finally Finish Your Homework at 4AM!Vine" June, 2 2014. Public Domain This picture depicts exactly how I felt in my procrastinating days. |
Local Revision: Variety
I think varied sentence structure is one of the strong suits in my draft. They are varied in length, cadence, and syntax. I put a lot more effort into this than in other areas because it takes the most conscious effort for me. It is easier to go back and change other aspects.
The transitions in my essay barely cover the bases. I think they could definitely be better by making them more creative or incorporating my thesis ideas more. In the final version I want them to have more of a purpose than to just switch paragraphs.
After making the list of verbs, I felt like I did not repeat myself too much. Most words only occurred once and a few were repeated twice. However, when I organized my verbs into specific and general, I realized I should go back and look for stronger words. I had too many general verbs when I should have more specific ones.
The transitions in my essay barely cover the bases. I think they could definitely be better by making them more creative or incorporating my thesis ideas more. In the final version I want them to have more of a purpose than to just switch paragraphs.
After making the list of verbs, I felt like I did not repeat myself too much. Most words only occurred once and a few were repeated twice. However, when I organized my verbs into specific and general, I realized I should go back and look for stronger words. I had too many general verbs when I should have more specific ones.
Saturday, February 20, 2016
Local Revision: Pronoun Usage
In general, my pronoun list is relatively short. This might be because I feel like I am vague when using them. Most of the times I did use a pronoun, it was within the same sentence the pronoun is referring to. As I was reading through my draft, I think I was satisfied with my usage of pronouns given the genre. I saw places where I could have added pronouns but I think it would have taken away from the professional tone of the essay.
I only used a pronoun to describe the audience once but included the audience throughout the essay, referring to them directly. This is because I talked about the audience very specifically, including people that used Lumosity, general consumers, researchers, and different types of people that used Lumosity. This was essential in explaining why my story has any relevance at all. These are the main people the story is affecting in the long run.
I only used a pronoun to describe the audience once but included the audience throughout the essay, referring to them directly. This is because I talked about the audience very specifically, including people that used Lumosity, general consumers, researchers, and different types of people that used Lumosity. This was essential in explaining why my story has any relevance at all. These are the main people the story is affecting in the long run.
 |
| Tara Hunt. "Audience" September, 9 2013. Public Domain |
My Pronouns
Here is a list of my pronouns used in my rough draft.
they (Lumosity)
they (researchers)
they (researchers)
they (Lumosity)
them (researchers)
them (researchers)
they (researchers)
their (FTC)
its (FTC)
its (FTC)
they (Michael and Kunal)
their (Lumosity)
they (subscribers)
they (subscribers)
they (Lumosity)
they (researchers)
they (researchers)
they (Lumosity)
them (researchers)
them (researchers)
they (researchers)
their (FTC)
its (FTC)
its (FTC)
they (Michael and Kunal)
their (Lumosity)
they (subscribers)
they (subscribers)
Local Revision: Active and Passive Voice
Active (specific)
capture
investigate
stretch
launched
span
deceiving
Active (general)
advertised
gain
carried
gathered
claimed
argue
support
selling
deliberate
played
viewed
judged
presented
present
associate
manufacturing
exaggerated
increase
charged
advertise
claiming
aid
help
challenge
subscribed
suffering
cope
sell
blamed
emphasize
stem
conducted
gathered
founded
approached
fund
exposing
participated
speak
supplied
conduct
supported
described
want
made
serve
find
ignoring
protect
inform
cheat
exists
give
states
acts
decided
face
focuses
solicited
mandates
send
explaining
supply
cancel
settled
defends
stating
admitting
tell
questioning
paid
buying
looking
receive
saving
wasting
pushes
Passive
classified
charged
does
put
trying
taking
protecting
give
including
made
allow
Looking at all my verbs from by draft, I was surprised to see how little specific verbs I have. There are not as many as I would like to have. There are not too many passive verbs though. As I was looking back at the draft for context, even the passive verbs seemed appropriate. In these situation, replacing them with stronger verbs might seem a like little too much,
I will definitely be adding in more specific verbs. First I will try changing some of the more general verbs into specific ones. If I feel like I still don't have enough after that, I will try to add extra sentences, where appropriate, to further convey emotion.
capture
investigate
stretch
launched
span
deceiving
Active (general)
advertised
gain
carried
gathered
claimed
argue
support
selling
deliberate
played
viewed
judged
presented
present
associate
manufacturing
exaggerated
increase
charged
advertise
claiming
aid
help
challenge
subscribed
suffering
cope
sell
blamed
emphasize
stem
conducted
gathered
founded
approached
fund
exposing
participated
speak
supplied
conduct
supported
described
want
made
serve
find
ignoring
protect
inform
cheat
exists
give
states
acts
decided
face
focuses
solicited
mandates
send
explaining
supply
cancel
settled
defends
stating
admitting
tell
questioning
paid
buying
looking
receive
saving
wasting
pushes
Passive
classified
charged
does
put
trying
taking
protecting
give
including
made
allow
Looking at all my verbs from by draft, I was surprised to see how little specific verbs I have. There are not as many as I would like to have. There are not too many passive verbs though. As I was looking back at the draft for context, even the passive verbs seemed appropriate. In these situation, replacing them with stronger verbs might seem a like little too much,
I will definitely be adding in more specific verbs. First I will try changing some of the more general verbs into specific ones. If I feel like I still don't have enough after that, I will try to add extra sentences, where appropriate, to further convey emotion.
 |
Luigi Vampa "Coordinamento" Public Domain |
Local Revisions: Tense Usage
Here are the verbs from my previous post, organized into various tenses:
Past Present Future
advertised does-2 capture
carried present-2 gain
gathered-2 associate argue
claimed stretch support
classified manufacturing investigate
charged-2 advertise deliberate
played claiming increase -2
viewed suffering aid
judged trying help
presented cope challenge
exaggerated sell fund
subscribed taking speak
launched emphasize conduct
blamed stem find
conducted exposing protect
founded span give
approached shows send
participated want supply
supplied serve cancel
supported ignoring tell
described inform receive
made-4 protecting allow
decided cheat
solicited exists
settled states
paid acts
face
focuses
including
mandates
explaining
defends
stating
admitting
deceiving
questioning
buying
looking
saving
wasting-2
pushes
The most prevalent tense in my draft is past tense. This is most likely because I am telling a story that already happened. Tense provides the perspective in which the content will make sense in. There is a big difference in something that could happen in the future and something that already happened. This is important for connecting the past and the future, as the author trying to convey bigger picture ideas.
I think my verb usage flows well for the most part. As I was rereading the draft, I felt reassured with the transitions. Also, as I was making the blog posts related to these verbs, the different tenses were placed in various places in the draft, never being clumped together.
I feel like I have a good amount of present tense verbs. I really tried to connect what had happened to what could happen in the future. Using present tense verbs helped be bridge this gap.
Robbiemuffin. "EGG Past simple". May 2008. Creative Commons Attribution
Past Present Future
advertised does-2 capture
carried present-2 gain
gathered-2 associate argue
claimed stretch support
classified manufacturing investigate
charged-2 advertise deliberate
played claiming increase -2
viewed suffering aid
judged trying help
presented cope challenge
exaggerated sell fund
subscribed taking speak
launched emphasize conduct
blamed stem find
conducted exposing protect
founded span give
approached shows send
participated want supply
supplied serve cancel
supported ignoring tell
described inform receive
made-4 protecting allow
decided cheat
solicited exists
settled states
paid acts
face
focuses
including
mandates
explaining
defends
stating
admitting
deceiving
questioning
buying
looking
saving
wasting-2
pushes
The most prevalent tense in my draft is past tense. This is most likely because I am telling a story that already happened. Tense provides the perspective in which the content will make sense in. There is a big difference in something that could happen in the future and something that already happened. This is important for connecting the past and the future, as the author trying to convey bigger picture ideas.
I think my verb usage flows well for the most part. As I was rereading the draft, I felt reassured with the transitions. Also, as I was making the blog posts related to these verbs, the different tenses were placed in various places in the draft, never being clumped together.
I feel like I have a good amount of present tense verbs. I really tried to connect what had happened to what could happen in the future. Using present tense verbs helped be bridge this gap.
My Verbs
Here is a list of all my verbs from my rough draft:
advertised
capture
gain
carried
gathered
claimed
argue
support
selling
classified
investigate
deliberate
charged
does
played
viewed
judged
presented
put
present
associate
present
stretch
manufacturing
exaggerated
increase
charged
advertise
increase
claiming
aid
help
challenge
subscribed
launched
suffering
trying
cope
trying
sell
blamed
taking
emphasize
stem
conducted
gathered
founded
approached
fund
exposing
participated
speak
want
made
serve
find
ignoring
protect
made
serve
find
ignoring
protect
made
inform
protecting
cheat
exists
give
states
acts
decided
face
focuses
back up
solicited
including
mandates
send
explaining
supply
cancel
settled
defends
stating
made
admitting
deceiving
tell
questioning
paid
buying
made
looking
receive
saving
wasting
allow
wasting
pushes
gathered-2, charged-2, does-2, present-2, increase-2, trying-2, supply/supplied-2, made-4, states/stating-2, wasting-2
Achird. "Tally marks counting visitors". June, 22 2010. Public domain
advertised
capture
gain
carried
gathered
claimed
argue
support
selling
classified
investigate
deliberate
charged
does
played
viewed
judged
presented
put
present
associate
present
stretch
manufacturing
exaggerated
increase
charged
advertise
increase
claiming
aid
help
challenge
subscribed
launched
suffering
trying
cope
trying
sell
blamed
taking
emphasize
stem
conducted
gathered
founded
approached
fund
exposing
participated
speak
want
made
serve
find
ignoring
protect
made
serve
find
ignoring
protect
made
inform
protecting
cheat
exists
give
states
acts
decided
face
focuses
back up
solicited
including
mandates
send
explaining
supply
cancel
settled
defends
stating
made
admitting
deceiving
tell
questioning
paid
buying
made
looking
receive
saving
wasting
allow
wasting
pushes
gathered-2, charged-2, does-2, present-2, increase-2, trying-2, supply/supplied-2, made-4, states/stating-2, wasting-2
Local Revisions: Wordiness
Below is the lengthiest paragraph from my ongoing rough draft. Hopefully, through some revision, I can cut down the length by removing some unnecessary words.
Lumosity is a large, brain training company that does all of its interactions on the device the games will be played on (computer or smartphone). The brand is viewed largely, and therefore judged, by the content of their website, app, and games. Just like other competitive companies, the content presented is very calculated. Lumosity has to put a lot of effort into deliberating how to present itself, since there is no real face of the company that the consumers can associate with. With such pressure to present the product in a favorable way, many companies will try to stretch the truth. The effectiveness of the product, manufacturing of the product, and reviews of the product can all be exaggerated in order to increase marketability. These forms of false advertising are what Lumosity is being charged with by the FTC. They advertise scientifically based games which aim to increase cognition in daily life. Also claiming to aid in mental ailments like ADD/ADHD and help the early onset of Dementia. The games consist of relatively simple concepts that try to challenge the brain in various cognitive areas. Being the only product that offers these results, over 70 million people have subscribed since the company launched in 2007. Many of these users are elders suffering from a deteriorating brain or people trying to cope with with a mental disorder. This is the image Lumosity is trying to sell. The two tangible people faced with the charges, in addition to Lumosity/Lumos Labs as a whole, are Michael Scanlon and Kunal Sarkar. Michael was a PhD neuroscientist student at Stanford and has a A.B. in psychology from Princeton. Kunal has a B.A. in economics form Princeton. Both were Co-founders of Lumosity, the reason why they were blamed for the deceptive advertising. Michael was the Chief Scientific Officer at Lumosity, taking responsibility for the exaggerated laboratory conclusions. Kunal was the chairman of the board of Lumos Labs, in charge of various business decisions, including what to emphasize in commercials and other forms of advertisements.
The highlighted words are some words I could remove.
Lumosity is a large brain training company that does all of its interactions on the device the games will be played on (computer or smartphone). The brand is viewed largely, and therefore judged, by the content of their website, app, and games. Just like other competitive companies, the content presented is very calculated. Lumosity has to put a lot of effort into deliberating how to present itself, since there is no real face of the company that the consumers can associate with. With such pressure to present the product in a favorable way, many companies will try to stretch the truth. The effectiveness of the product, manufacturing of the product, and reviews of the product can all be exaggerated in order to increase marketability. These forms of false advertising are what Lumosity is being charged with by the FTC. They advertise scientifically based games which aim to increase cognition in daily life. Also claiming to aid in mental ailments like ADD/ADHD and help the early onset of Dementia. The games consist of relatively simple concepts that try to challenge the brain in various cognitive areas. Being the only product that offers these results, over 70 million people have subscribed since the company launched in 2007. Many of these users are elders suffering from a deteriorating brain or people trying to cope with with a mental disorder. This is the image Lumosity is trying to sell. The two tangible people faced with the charges, in addition to Lumosity/Lumos Labs as a whole, are Michael Scanlon and Kunal Sarkar. Michael was a PhD neuroscientist student at Stanford and has a A.B. in psychology from Princeton. Kunal has a B.A. in economics form Princeton. Both were Co-founders of Lumosity, the reason why they were blamed for the deceptive advertising. Michael was the Chief Scientific Officer at Lumosity, taking responsibility for the exaggerated laboratory conclusions. Kunal was the chairman of the board of Lumos Labs, in charge of various business decisions, including what to emphasize in commercials and other forms of advertisements.
There were not too many words I felt I could eliminate, but the ones I did helped the essay flow more. The words removed were only there to explain what I had already said. Rereading the paragraph helped me realize that.
Jrod2~commonswiki. "Boy with Binoculars". August, 22 2007. Public Domain
Lumosity is a large, brain training company that does all of its interactions on the device the games will be played on (computer or smartphone). The brand is viewed largely, and therefore judged, by the content of their website, app, and games. Just like other competitive companies, the content presented is very calculated. Lumosity has to put a lot of effort into deliberating how to present itself, since there is no real face of the company that the consumers can associate with. With such pressure to present the product in a favorable way, many companies will try to stretch the truth. The effectiveness of the product, manufacturing of the product, and reviews of the product can all be exaggerated in order to increase marketability. These forms of false advertising are what Lumosity is being charged with by the FTC. They advertise scientifically based games which aim to increase cognition in daily life. Also claiming to aid in mental ailments like ADD/ADHD and help the early onset of Dementia. The games consist of relatively simple concepts that try to challenge the brain in various cognitive areas. Being the only product that offers these results, over 70 million people have subscribed since the company launched in 2007. Many of these users are elders suffering from a deteriorating brain or people trying to cope with with a mental disorder. This is the image Lumosity is trying to sell. The two tangible people faced with the charges, in addition to Lumosity/Lumos Labs as a whole, are Michael Scanlon and Kunal Sarkar. Michael was a PhD neuroscientist student at Stanford and has a A.B. in psychology from Princeton. Kunal has a B.A. in economics form Princeton. Both were Co-founders of Lumosity, the reason why they were blamed for the deceptive advertising. Michael was the Chief Scientific Officer at Lumosity, taking responsibility for the exaggerated laboratory conclusions. Kunal was the chairman of the board of Lumos Labs, in charge of various business decisions, including what to emphasize in commercials and other forms of advertisements.
The highlighted words are some words I could remove.
Lumosity is a large brain training company that does all of its interactions on the device the games will be played on (computer or smartphone). The brand is viewed largely, and therefore judged, by the content of their website, app, and games. Just like other competitive companies, the content presented is very calculated. Lumosity has to put a lot of effort into deliberating how to present itself, since there is no real face of the company that the consumers can associate with. With such pressure to present the product in a favorable way, many companies will try to stretch the truth. The effectiveness of the product, manufacturing of the product, and reviews of the product can all be exaggerated in order to increase marketability. These forms of false advertising are what Lumosity is being charged with by the FTC. They advertise scientifically based games which aim to increase cognition in daily life. Also claiming to aid in mental ailments like ADD/ADHD and help the early onset of Dementia. The games consist of relatively simple concepts that try to challenge the brain in various cognitive areas. Being the only product that offers these results, over 70 million people have subscribed since the company launched in 2007. Many of these users are elders suffering from a deteriorating brain or people trying to cope with with a mental disorder. This is the image Lumosity is trying to sell. The two tangible people faced with the charges, in addition to Lumosity/Lumos Labs as a whole, are Michael Scanlon and Kunal Sarkar. Michael was a PhD neuroscientist student at Stanford and has a A.B. in psychology from Princeton. Kunal has a B.A. in economics form Princeton. Both were Co-founders of Lumosity, the reason why they were blamed for the deceptive advertising. Michael was the Chief Scientific Officer at Lumosity, taking responsibility for the exaggerated laboratory conclusions. Kunal was the chairman of the board of Lumos Labs, in charge of various business decisions, including what to emphasize in commercials and other forms of advertisements.
There were not too many words I felt I could eliminate, but the ones I did helped the essay flow more. The words removed were only there to explain what I had already said. Rereading the paragraph helped me realize that.
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